Est reading time: 7-9 minutes (promise this is worth your phone time)​
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​In My World:​
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School finally started this week (thank you Jesus) and I forgot Monday was Labor Day.
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AM I EVEN AMERICAN ANYMORE.😭
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My incessant slacking to my American founder client only realized when the day was almost over.

Our second school year in Lisbon.

Back to perpetual confusion on the parent Whatsapp chains, but I’m determined to learn the language this year. If not only because my kids now speak in it and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE SAYING.
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Talk about a power grab.

Moving on.
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​A Story Audit:​
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​I take submissions each week and will select certain stories and critique them from a storytelling and marketing perspective as it applies to business.
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I love seeing all your submissions and today we are featuring….
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Pam Shipley.

She is a psychotherapist who hit 50 and became “uncomfortable with my body, struggling with perimenopause symptoms that were confusing and frustrating and about to send my baby off to college. I woke up and began to question this new stage and who I was.“
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​She now works with women in big life transitions struggling with new identities and does a lot of work in the peri and menopausal space.

She submitted a story in a google doc (to be used for website and social content) about her significant mid-life change with her husband, selling their home and embarking on a year-long nomadic lifestyle overseas.
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It details the challenges and emotional journey of downsizing their possessions, navigating the logistics of such a major move, and embracing uncertainty in pursuit of new experiences and personal growth.

It’s long so I won’t paste the whole thing but rather chunks of it to highlight my points.
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​PROS:

• The context of a story is SO IMPORTANT and people usually struggle writing compelling ones because you can’t ramble, but you need to bring a stranger into YOUR world quickly and make them stick around. Pam’s opening is fantastic.
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  ​“I have always been a very well planned woman. I know the weather forecast, how long it will take to get to my destination, the travel plans for the year, and what we are having for dinner usually a week in advance.”​
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• Her opening is effective in quickly establishing who Pam is; the concrete examples allow me as a stranger to relate or not relate to her. I want to read the next line which should be the ONLY motivation at the top of your story or post.
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• Her next two lines deliver me a catalyst and there is no story if you don’t have a catalyst (something I teach you how to do in my storytelling programs, especially my upcoming Founder’s Fire one so get yourself on the waitlist.)
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• She perfectly and succinctly digs into this conflict, effectively contrasting with the opening sentence, signaling to the reader that something unexpected is about to happen. I am on the edge and WANT to continue reading. You need to strive for THIS in all of your content.
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  ​“Last October my husband and I made a huge life changing decision that was not consistent with my well planned nature. We decided to sell our home, put everything in storage, and live and work nomadically overseas for the next year.”​
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• Given who she serves in business (mostly menopausal women) this next line is masterful; she offers a perspective that many middle-aged readers AKA HER target audience for her business…might find relatable. I thought it was genius. ​
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  ​“One of my kids is finishing law school in New York and the other got married in March and is settled and happy. We feel no real ties to the city we are living in, and so much has changed in the world that we decided to jump through the window. I call it a window because I believe there is a small window between the time your children “are” children and your children “have” children.”​
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• Pam does a great job with saying a lot in a little, which is not easy to do. This sentence below provides important backstory and context, showing that this isn’t the first time Pam has made a big change. It also hints at her values and her willingness to take risks. Again, if I’m middle aged, looking for support and I need help on taking risks, making big decisions….all signs point to Pam through her subtle selling of herself through story.
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  ​“When we moved 4 years ago we left our home of 18 years and impulsively (mid-covid) decided to move to a city I’d never been to and knew nothing about (other than there is great music and food).”​
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• She is masterful at selling who she is and how she helps in a beautifully woven way. These powerful statements below encapsulates the theme of the story. But really, it showcases that she understands her target audience and her potential clients.
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  ​“At this point in my life, I fear not doing something meaningful more than I fear doing it.”

CONS:

• Her overall structure needs help. The most powerful part of the story was the top of it with some powerful lines sprinkled in but the overall story didn’t have the impact it should have because it got a touch confusing.
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• There was a lot of jumping around between different timeframes, ideas and themes. I found myself asking myself, “Wait, is this present day? Is this Pam a decade ago? Is this a creative writing story or for her business website?” Less would have been more here & it veered off too much in “Me” direction when the power here was when she would directly think and then write like her audience’s subconscious.
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  ​”The last 4 years have been a struggle to find myself and find my people. I had no idea it would be as difficult as it was. And here I am, 4 years later, finding myself on a more clear path and mission to help women in mid-life, but still struggling to find my people here. So now I know more who I am, I know who I want to serve, and I am deciding to jump again and look for more. When do we stop looking for more? For new experiences? For adventure?”​
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• The ending of Pam’s story is abrupt and doesn’t have the payoff that the opening of her story suggests. An extreme example of payoff not lining up to headline is called Clickbait. This is NOT clickbait but I’m trying to showcase to you an extreme example of imbalance in payoff to the audience.
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• Pams’ story builds up the challenges and emotions of making a big life change, but doesn’t provide a sense of closure or resolution and I was expecting a bit more reflection on her end or at least a better bridge to her business of who she helps.
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  ​“So follow along on this journey if you want, maybe it will inspire you to take a leap of faith and bet on your strength and resilience, or it will make you realize that you really do crave stability and you will continue to seek it. For me, the adventure of life won’t wait for the perfect time, just for the willingness to pack and get on the plane!

Why This Works:​
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Pam’s story (for the most part) effectively uses the power of contrast to engage readers and highlight personal growth.
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​Why is the “power of contrast” a smart storytelling tactic?

1. It creates tension: the contrast between the main characters’ (usually you or a customer’s) nature and actions introduces an internal conflict that draws readers in & keeps them to the end.
2. It’s universally relatable: many people have experienced tension between their comfort zone and the desire for change.

Here are some “Contrast” examples to apply to your own content:​
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​1. Before and After:
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Share your transformation journey. For example: “5 years ago, I was drowning in debt. Today, I’m teaching others how to achieve financial freedom.”

2. Expectation vs. Reality:
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Highlight common misconceptions in your field. “Everyone thinks being a CEO is glamorous. The reality? I spent my morning unclogging the office toilet.”
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​3. Personal Quirks:
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Contrast your professional image with unexpected personal traits. “By day, I’m a high-powered attorney. By night, I’m binge-watching cartoons in my unicorn onesie.”
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​4. Skill Juxtaposition:
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Showcase diverse abilities. “I can negotiate million-dollar deals without breaking a sweat, but ask me to assemble IKEA furniture and I’ll break into a cold panic.”
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​5. Then and Now:
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Illustrate growth or change. “10 years ago, my idea of success was a corner office. Now, it’s having the freedom to work from anywhere in the world.
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OK! That was lot here, but I hoped you learned something today.
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I have lots of exciting workshops and programs coming up on storytelling, AI and all things personal brand now that my kids are back in school.
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Next week I will be opening up the doors to my back by popular request “Ignite Your Narrative 2.0” workshop.
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This will be a live class again that I will be teaching at the top of October. You may get an extra email from me in the week for the next few weeks.
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There will be special bonus for early purchasers and people who show up live.
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Last year my beloved deceased grandma flew into class via BLACK BIRD form😳.
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Never a dull moment around here. Will she make another class appearance in Portugal!?!? Should we ask my mom?

Stay tuned.
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Have a great week and as always if you want to work with me now, check out the best ways below to do that.