Hey there,

I sat at a stoplight in my car last week post 1st week of relentless solo parenting school drop offs letting the wave of the overwhelm engulf me.

Letting the thoughts of that overwhelm hijack my brain.

It was only a few seconds but it was enough of a hijack that I had hot tears streaming down my face uncontrollably.

“You can’t do this…..you can’t compete against a childless founder….who do you think you are to scale your AI tool when you can’t even work this week….you’re behind…time is running out….you’re failing.”

Last week was really hard.

The kind of hard where you look down at pickup and notice at almost 5PM that you indeed have been conducting your day in mismatched shoes.

Solo parenting all week + 1st week back to school (but make it a Wednesday why) + 900 parent meetings in the middle of the day (also why) + club soccer practices kicking off at different fields and different times daily (throw me a bone here) + an on going issue with my littlest who cannot master going to the bathroom – and it’s gone on so long that the psychological part has turned physical and last week it all came crashing down (literally). ​
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Most notably in the middle of the Continente aisle (the big Lisbon grocery store) where I was with all the other Beta moms buying school supplies the night before school when all the Movicol (the Portuguese Miralax) I had to give my 5 year old just hit.

He was in pain, crying, embarrassed, a little scared and my fight-or-flight instinct of abandoning the full cart of supplies for 3 children (knowing I’d regret it 5 minutes later) vs. scooping him up and running to the parking lot was in full effect.
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We stayed.
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My kids needed their supplies for the next day.

Apologizing through near tears to my little one, “Mama is so sorry, I know you hate this…and we will get through this.”

I am not a “cry in my car” (more of a “cry at home” ) from overwhelm type of parent but I was last week.

The little down time that was supposed to go toward work was instead calling more therapists, taking him to doctors, writing his teachers, the psychology teams and spiraling down a ChatGPT health hole, desperate to find the ONE thing I’ve been overlooking.
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And also managing the big feelings of my middle child who is really struggling with this (it’s a really gross issue for those who can relate) and then watching my 13-year-old take on the role of my partner without being asked too….

Mopping, clearing up, loading dishes….. “Mom let me help you. I know you haven’t worked much week. It’s so much easier with two parents.” 🥹🥹🥹 And admittedly feeling bad that the house (AKA ME) was so elevated, it prompted this response from him.

Oh and our best dog Benny had to be put down last week, prompting a final photo shoot at my house.

My middle was desperately sad so I also threw in death discussions as well. (***waves white flag)

I needed to be a mom in full force last week and there wasn’t a bench team.

I’m not telling you this because I think my hard is harder than anyone’s… I know for a fact it isn’t, especially my always-solo moms and the moms managing chronic illness in their kids.

But it surfaced a lot.
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Specifically to founder life when you are also a parent to kids who really need you right now.

To founder life when the dad or mom of your children are gone -literally and/or figuratively.

To founder life when you can’t squirrel away in a vibe code troll cave all day because you have other responsibilities such as a sick family member, kids, aging parents, a friend who is having a hard time, a chronic illness yourself.

In other words all founders on this planet…at some point.
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Yet we hide “the other stuff” lest it show signs of weakness to potential investors, a board, your customers.
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But why does it have to be like this?

When I know the backstory of what someone went through to get to “X” or the hurdles someone had to achieve in order to reach “Y”. I instantly love them more.

In the words of Alex Hormozi (I know, I know, he is literally the antithesis of today’s newsletter): “No one likes a boring success story.”

My inner circle of mothers who are also building big things and have big ass goals for their companies are also in the trenches. Daily voice notes where we commiserate and say the QUIET PARTS OUTLOUD (***not AI written but truly we say all the $hit you shouldn’t technically say in public).

Things like my exited founder friend G who is building her second company and voice-noted me this week: “I live outside of NYC and can’t even get into the city for a lot of the events because it’s too hard with childcare.”

Or my brilliant friend M, an American transplant in Lisbon building her product and business, who said to me: “Do you worry that living in Lisbon is a penalty to us?”

Or my friend M, who left an abusive marriage last year that literally almost killed her and is now left to handle her growing agency and the well-being of her three kids, on her own.

Three women who are some of the smartest, most hilarious, most savvy, pitbull-instinct business builders I know. Yet it is impossible to move as fast as Twitter (I still cannot say X) and LinkedIn would like you to move.

I don’t have a bow-tie lesson here I don’t think.

You can’t will an ingrained system to bend toward your business-building utopia with the snap of your fingers.
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I’m learning in real time as I raise money and scale My StoryPro that yes, Patrice.. You do need to play the game ***up to a point.

Case in point, I’m boarding a flight to San Francisco tomorrow and will spend one week literally hitting the pavement meeting with strangers, some friends and some people I’m still unapologetically stalking.
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If you need me I’ll be on Mission street with a QR coded sandwich board. Come say hi!

I sold books door-to-door from the ages of 20-23 all over the country and looking back I probably should have been rescued because I was in a cult… BUT.. I thrived in that 100% commission back-breaking, 6 days of rejection a week job.

Whatever THAT energy is, you need it when you’re building something you believe in, which is also part of the angst.. Because it’s foolish to think you can achieve big things in business and just not work a lot.

But the narrative we hang it on is not healthy.

Pretending we’re not whole humans with entire lives outside the business baby (or the corporate job).

My friend G from above also said in that same note to me, “I’m raising in chunks… building the product out in chunks and I’m OK with that now because I don’t want to miss what’s happening in my kids’ lives.”
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​Raj, a Linkedin friend and a successful exited founder who is a new empty nester always has the best POV and a view that is missing from the startup front lines -ESPECIALLY from the male side.

I found myself replying to M (or wait I haven’t yet but I will as I have been thinking about it), “I don’t think living in Lisbon is a long-game penalty. Society here actively encourages you to rearrange your life around what truly matters… time with the humans you want to be around and that’s the recipe for solid mental health.

And LORD, do we need mentally sound business leaders.

BUT we need to get our asses on a plane to the US every quarter or so. FO SHO.”
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Ok I need to go pack.. By the way, sorry for the ADHA pivot but I cannot gatekeep this…

The newest model of ChatGPT is giving me look books based on items in my closet and I DIE.

And to go further even off topic, I have this sleeveless blazer thing*y that I think about donating weekly. But I asked to give me some updated options for it… AND GUESS WHO IS PACKING THE RANDOM SLEELVELESS BLAZER THING*Y IN HER CARRY-ON??!!

I even took a pic of a drawer full of scarves and asked for looks with a different pair of jeans and LOOK AT THIS.

You’re welcome.
Final final thoughts…
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BCG’s 2018 research found that startups founded or cofounded by women generated more than twice as much revenue per dollar invested as those founded by men.
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They also received less than half as much funding, on average
Our optics don’t help, EVEN though we are better for the bottom lines.

I think about that often now as I’ve entered this scale phase of My StoryPro… as a founder raising money and a mother of three.

About how much energy goes into building the business, and how much goes into making sure the rest of my life doesn’t look like a reason someone shouldn’t invest in me.
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But I’m kind of over it.

Like where are YOU getting your “flight or fight” skills if not honed in the aisle of a Portuguese grocery store at 8PM the day before the start of school with a tiny human that has explosive laxative induced crap everywhere?

We tell founders to be resilient. Resourceful. Good at making decisions when nothing goes according to plan. UM CHECK CHECK.

But collectively can we please get better at recognizing what those qualities look like in a real person’s life. (in this phase it’s a whole lot of $hit for me literally, figuratively,)

Ok that’s REALLY all folks.

Shout out to every mom and dad holding it ALL down while still being unhinged enough to go big after the business dream.

Please keep going…even if it’s not as fast or as glamorous as you’d like. (Same, girl. Same.)

And thanks to my mom for always being my biggest fan when I was spiraling out about work this week… even though I gave her a lot of “big feelings” growing up:)

My instinct at first was to be like “Argh… all this took a WHOLE decade why can’t it be faster!?!” Ok off to get back on my therapy sessions with Anita…

Wish me luck this week in San Francisco!!
Book selling cult energy is COMING OUT💅

XO
Patrice
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P.S If you’re trying to show up, tell your story, and build something real while holding everything else together… this is exactly who My StoryPro is for.​

P.P.S My co-founder Vee and I are running a live 2.5-hour “build alongside you” workshop on September 30th: Story Hunting To Stay Relevant Workshop. It’s about staying visible and sounding like yourself even when life is doing what life does…blending what’s actually going on in your real life into your business, the way I just did in this newsletter.

​Join My StoryPro this month and the workshop comes with your membership. More details soon. It’s going to be a good one.