Hi there,
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When I moved to Lisbon three years ago I “took up tennis” like some sort of midlife crisis mom cliche.

I joke it took me moving across an ocean to a different continent to channel my inner suburban mom who drives her kids to school every day (something I never did for the first decade of being a parent but I digress) and yes…. Play tennis.
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But group lessons 1x a week for the past 3 years…while it’s fun and a welcome diversion from the daily mind F spiral that is to run and scale a start-up… I have not really improved after that initial big curve -especially in the past year.
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If anything I have felt like I am getting worse.
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My husband, who I found out when I moved to Lisbon is an UNREAL tennis player (truly I had no idea I was married to one and I’m not mad about it) and plays often has been telling me for a year, “you need to play some real games or you will never improve.”

And when I wasn’t listening to him… he took matters into his own hands and informed me last week that “he had signed me up for Fernando’s ***a friend of ours tournament” and that I was “going to be great.”

I will spare you the literal tantrum I had and the border line abusive assault towards him but I was REALLY upset he did this.

Tears pouring down my face (truly) and me shouting, “I DON’T WANT TO PUBLICLY EMABARRASS MYSELF IN FRONT OF STRANGERS. I AM HORRIBLE. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE??”

After threatening to cancel the entire day before but deep down knowing I couldn’t do that to our friend as I know how much work it is to arrange these things… I found myself heading to my first EVER game…which just happened to be in a full-blown public tournament.

I wanted to die is an understatement.

For starters, I don’t even know how to score tennis.

15, 30, love, 60, set. Match, etc.. It’s amazing how you can hear all of those words over the years, watch tennis but still not REALLY understand the game.

We never played for real in my lessons and 3 years in…no one had really explained the mechanics to me.

I knew the second I walked on that court I was out of my depth.

And I wish I could tell you the next part of this story was..(drum roll)​
SHE CRUSHED IT! SHE BEAT EVERYONE!
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But that didn’t happen. In fact, I proceeded to lose every single set I played.
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First against Harriet from South Carolina, 1-6.

Then to Ana from Colombia 3-6.

And finally to Jen from Brooklyn, 1-6.

My opponents could have literally told me I’m losing 50 to nothing and I would have believed them. I was baby deer energy on that court.

However, that ONE day of losing game after game after game moved me further forward than the last year of weekly group classes.

**I’m sorry Olly you were right🫠
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​I almost forgot I fundamentally believe this because tennis or no tennis, this lesson about discomfort is so easy to forget.
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When I think about the hardest parts in my marriage, my health or my career over the years…it can usually be directed back to “got comfortable so didn’t do much.”
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​Discomfort isn’t the thing to avoid and so many of us spend a lot of time trying to “NOT” feel discomfort.
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To not feel embarrassed about whatever it is you’re afraid of. (for me it was losing publicly in front of a bunch of strangers at a tennis club and turns out that’s what happened but I didn’t feel shame… I felt invigorated.)
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​So much so that I WILLINGLY signed up for next month’ s tournament.

Discomfort is the sign you’re actually in your life and not just moving through it.
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I’ll get off my podium here but this weekend was such an emotional roller coaster and I needed reminding on a lot of levels that I need to always be stretching my limits while I get the privilege of being alive.

OK that’s all from me!!
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Oh and another amazing feeling was still making my kids so proud of me even though…MOM LOST!!!

XO
Patrice